Most Leadership Training Fails. Here’s Why Emotional Intelligence Is Likely The Missing Piece

“As I was doing my research, I learned about emotional intelligence,” Holmes explained, “and I realized this is the skill [EQ] that enabled me to succeed.”

getty

At 21 years old, Nick Holmes worked at the London Aquarium, selling photos in the gift shop. He wasn’t sure why, but he was a natural. He broke sales records, was promoted, and then found himself developing sales training for 40 people. With no experience in L&D, he researched on Google, drew on his acting background to create sales scripts, and pulled engaging clips from YouTube.

His sales training became a massive success, and before he knew it, he had promoted all the way up to the level of Global Head of Learning & Development.

Only years later—after running global learning teams, beginning his PhD in HR and Organizational Culture, and now leading Learning & Culture for Avalere Health—did the pattern fully snap into focus. “As I was doing my research, I learned about emotional intelligence,” Holmes explained, “and I realized this is the skill [EQ] that enabled me to succeed in those roles at twenty-one years old. I just didn’t know to call it ‘EQ’ at the time.” And he’s onto something. Studies have linked emotional intelligence to increased salary and job performance.

That realization would quietly shape the rest of his career. Today, Holmes is Vice President of Learning & Culture at Avalere Health, a 1,200-person healthcare advisory, medical, and marketing firm operating across North America and the U.K.

EQ Helps People Cross the Chasm from Talented Contributor to Leader of People

Holmes has seen the same problematic pattern repeat itself across industries. People get promoted because they’re good at their jobs. Then suddenly, they’re responsible for humans. “The research shows that most new managers have never gone through proper manager education,” he said. “So they just mirror what their manager did. And that’s not enough.”

To solve for this, Holmes and his team designed the Manager Impact Program (MIP), a new initiative built around emotional intelligence.

The premise is simple but uncommon: before managers can lead others well, they have to understand themselves. “EQ starts with insight and self-awareness,” Holmes said. “If you don’t understand how you show up, you can’t build effective relationships.”

The program unfolds across four modules:

• Manager Mindset, which focuses on self-awareness and social awareness, especially of a manager’s team members. “Management has got to be highly personalized,” Holmes said. “You’re learning how to get to know every person on your team on a very deep and intimate basis and then how to get the best out of them.”
• Unlocking Peak Performance, which examines the environments managers create. This module begs the question of “What can you control as a manager to help your people be the best version of themselves?”
• Communicate With Courage, centered on difficult conversations and effective feedback. Managers even do live role-play scenarios with professional actors who play the part of their team members. In one exercise, for example, managers have to explain to a strong performer that they can’t offer additional financial reward despite the fact that they recognize and appreciate their performance. “How do you end that conversation so the person feels seen, not deflated?” Holmes asked. “This ties back to EQ skills and leading with emotional intelligence.”
• Making It Stick embeds emotional intelligence and key leadership behaviors into performance reviews, career conversations, and 360 feedback. Managers are paired with learning buddies to apply what they’ve learned in real time.

At the center of this manager impact program is Holmes’ philosophy about how organizational culture works. He views culture as non-static, a “living, breathing” entity.

Learning Sticks When It’s Felt: The Maps, Wires, Patterns, and Sparks Framework

Holmes was blunt about why most leadership development fails. “If nothing is remarkable, it’s forgettable,” he said. That belief shapes every aspect of Avalere’s learning experiences.

Holmes, who is currently writing his PhD thesis on this very subject, created and uses his own memorable learning framework: Maps, Wires, Patterns, and Sparks.

Maps: This is how your brain maps out the culture as you move through the company. “When you step into a room, what are you seeing immediately?” Holmes said. “What is the belief system? What are people saying? What are they not saying?”

Wires: The decision-making processes across the organization. “This is about how things get done, what gets rewarded here, and how do things move through the organization?” Holmes explained.

Patterns: The repetition of Maps and Wires across the organization.

Sparks: Lastly, you have sparks, or “the leadership behavior, adaptability, and the learning that takes place within the organization.” Sparks are how you can change each of the above to change your culture.

With this framework top of mind, learning experiences at Avalere are designed to be especially memorable and sticky.

EQ workshops, for example, begin with self-reflection, not instruction. Managers are asked to describe their leadership style in just three words, similar to how Netflix categorizes shows. “That forces reflection,” Holmes explained. “Stopping to think about why you made a decision, or why you reacted the way you did.”

And this idea of “make it memorable” appears throughout their leadership program. In one U.S. cohort, for example, participants visit the top of the Empire State Building and are given a high-pressure leadership scenario tied to the building’s rapid construction.

“We remember what we feel,” Holmes said. “That emotional resonance is what brings the behavior back later.”

EQ + AI: Freeing Humans to Do the Human Work

As AI becomes more embedded in work, Holmes is thoughtful about what gets automated. Similar to a couple of my interviews with leaders in the tech space (including Brian Glaser, the CLO at Google), Holmes emphasized how AI can free up a leader’s time to connect with team members.

“AI use is about freeing up time for one-on-one connection,” he explained. “People are stressed about admin. They want to do the work they love.”

He draws a firm line here. “We can’t allow AI to do the thing that we love to do. To think, to be creative.” For Holmes, emotional intelligence can help ensure that this balance holds.

What L&D and HR Leaders Should Take From This

For L&D leaders, the takeaways here are clear and practical:

1. Start by training for manager behaviors—not just values statements—as your primary culture lever. Anchor development in observable EQ behaviors like self-awareness, feedback, and decision-making.
2. Treat your culture as constantly evolving (because it is).
3. Use AI to eliminate low-value administrative work. This will free up your managers to have more time for coaching, reflection, and human connection.

And regardless of where you’re at in your L&D rollout, Holmes reminds us of the importance of making your training experiential and memorable. Because, as he put it, “Only through exposure can you grow your EQ. And once you see EQ, you can’t unsee it.”

Kevin Kruse is the Founder + CEO of LEADx, an emotional intelligence training company. Kevin is also a New York Times bestselling author. His latest book is Emotional Intelligence: 52 Strategies to Build Strong Relationships, Increase Resilience, and Achieve Your Goals.